Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Spirit bird

I want to wake up, I want to move, to run, to scream loud, to get out of this cage...called "my mind", called "my heart". But sometimes it seems impossible to go forward. You just stay, like blocked on one single spot, not able to move your body, just your eyes are watching how the world is moving around you, how everyone is living their life, how they don't stop. Just you, you are blocked. And then you ask yourself, how to manage it, how to start moving first one arm, then one leg and then the other and in the end your whole body, that starts to run, run far away and as quick as possible. But no! You are a slave of your own mind, that cannot focus right now. It is stuck....somewhere in the past...with all  these images, all the moments you experienced, all the minutes you lived, all the seconds you breath.....I would like to scream....but my voice is gone, like I have never had it, like I never knew how to talk. You wonder what is happening? Why can't you just start walking, why can't you just open your eyes and release your mind, release your body....rescue your heart....?
Sometimes I wish I could be one of the spirit birds. I would just start flying up into the sky, between the clouds, close to the warmth of the sun. I would fly far away, without knowing where, without thinking, just further....never back. I would stop only if my wings are hurting, only if I am without breath, only if I need to rest. I would be above my mind, across my heart, I would be just a spirit bird, flying...escaping out of this cage...and finally arriving, waking up in the middle of....of my life, thinking and loving again. Yes, I wish I could be one of those spirit birds...rise up high and then...freedom....

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